Peter Jacque's Will

Peter Jacque's Will was written by him on April 20th, 1620 when he died due to lack of Chili Cheese Dogs.

Transcript of Peter Jacque's Will
The following is an ACTUAL historical recording and not an estimated assumption of what his will actually said.

'Dear Poopy Fag family, I, Peter Jacque, am close to death. Why did none of you visit me? I hate you so much. Uhhh, suck my dick hahahhahaa!!! Anyway, that's not the point of like this stupid letter or whatever. I'm ordering all of my descendants to be named Peter Jacque, or PJ for short. So like, all you need to suck my MASSIVE JEWISH-FRENCH peeeeepeee AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH LOLOLOLOLOL! SO like, DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT do not touch my corndog, chili cheese dog, or my boot. If you do, i will fucking kill you and t-bag the remains. I FUCKED YOUR MOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

With love, 

Peter Jacque

Responses to the Will
Peter Jacque's son, Peter Jacque Jr. Responded with absolute disgust to the letter. "'UGH MY DAD SUCKS! HIS LETTER SUCKS LIKE A LOT!!!!!!! I AM GONNA EAT HIS CHILI CHEESE DOG WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT! UGH, SUCK MY DICK!!!!' - Peter Jacque Jr. (on the death of his father)"Chief Tomyo Karen of the Yotamiskorenis tribe viewed Jacque's death with extreme happiness."'He smelled so bad that he killed 99% of the Native population and blamed it on small pox! His death is a good thing for both Natives and Whites alike!' - Chief Tomyo Karen on Jacque's death."